Totally TV: Before I Grow Up

I had an extremely wonderful childhood. For instance, we had the Disney Channel back when you could only get it by paying for it (I recently learned that the parents were in fact pirating it but what is committing piracy but a show of true love?). Being lucky didn’t, however, stop my wanderlust.

There were four things I  wanted to do before I grew up. Things I strove very hard to accomplish and by accomplish I mean, read books about and watched movies and TV shows about in attempt to feel like I had done it. Number One, I wanted to be a witch, so I watched Bewitched on Nick at Night and practiced wiggling my nose in the mirror. Number Two, I wanted to go to boarding school, enter The Worst Witch. Double Win, I was now (vicariously) a witch and at a boarding school, with none other than Tim Curry (in the TV movie version, I watched both versions). I wanted to go to sleepover summer camp (not girl scout camp with the lame Brownies, it still doesn’t count, mom). Enter the obsessions with Camp Nowhere, Andrew Keegan and jewelery made from washers.

Finally, I wanted to be a really fabulous child dancer or actress or singer (let me know if you’d like to hear my famous Little Mermaid impersonation). The dancer part has not only influenced my love of every single bad dance movie that has ever been released. The exceptions being Step Up, the original, and Neve Campbell’s The Company, two of the worst movies I have ever sat through. The love of all consumable dance programming is never-ending, currently I have the TV to myself on most weeknights and I have found an Australian television show, perfect for drowning out loneliness, on Netflix instant called Dance Academy. I am certain it was created for 11-year-old me but 28-year-old me is now using it  to relive my youth and my youthful dreams simultaneously.

In an ideal world, Hogwarts would be not only a school for witches and wizards but also a pre-professional dance school with a mandatory summer program held without adult supervision at a forest/lake location on the East Coast. I, of course, would have been a student at this dream school, part class clown, part top student and occasional heart throb.

Kristen’s Hogwarts – Krogwarts

If you too were reliving your youth before your youth had even ended perhaps you will like my list:

TV/Movies For Youthful Do-overs

Become a Witch (by watching it on the TV)

  • Bewitched
  • The Worst Witch
  • I Dream of Jeanie (she’s kind of like a witch just also Major’s bitch)
  • Escape to Witch Mountain (1st round remake, pre-The Rock Version)
  • Teen Witch (TOP THAT!)
  • Halloweentown
  • Naturally Harry Potter, like it needs to be said.

Kristen “Ditges” her Parents for Boarding School

Summer Camp (not camping with your brother)

  • Camp Nowhere
  • Heavyweights
  • Salute Your Shorts
  • Bug Juice
  • The Parent Trap
  • It Takes Two (The Mary Kate and Ashley Rip Off of The Parent Trap)

Dance, it will bring you a boyfriend unless you’re Stephanie Tanner, she never gets a boyfriend

  • Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
  • Full House Episodes featuring Stephanie’s dance career 
  • Mickey Mouse Club (MMC for the hip kids)
  • Kids Incorporated
  • Dirty Dancing

That’s it, please excuse me while I do the Roger Rabbit holding the Hermoine wand I picked up in Florida….and also let me know what you wanted to be before you grew up or essentials from childhood I may have forgotten.

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