Worth A Visit: Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew “Kew Gardens”

Hanging out in London? Tired of it yet? Of course not but that’s no reason not to take a little side trip. Having just come from picking out flowers for our wedding I’m in a flower mood. I give you, the essential day trip guide to Kew Gardens, with pictures!

Step One: Get lazy ass out of bed, shake off the crazy cocktails from the night before.

Step Two: Swing by The Whole Foods in Kensington. Snag (yes snag, apparently it’s a Colorado word, according to random guy at the bar last weekend) delicious sandwiches for picnic. Admire product father sold to said Whole Foods.

Inventor Pops and The Wireless Cash Cart

Step Three: Get on the Underground. Leave banjo in hotel room. Need I remind you again, there is strictly no busking?

That means you fake robot.

Step Four: Take ten minute walk from station arrive at Kew Gardens.

Step Five: Tour outdoor gardens, take photographs with favorite flowers/dragons.

Step Six: Buy separate ticket for historic building tour. Take tour. Exit building fancying yourself a character in Jane Austen novel while romping thorough grassy areas. Ignore fact that Sara always points out, people didn’t bathe, therefore people were stinky, therefore not actually terribly romantic.

Not terribly romantic

Step Seven: Stop under tree. Eat Sandwich. DO NOT drop sandwich after 3 bites in the dirt, cry loudly and proclaim that it was the best sandwich ever produced and now you will die of starvation, only an obvious American would do that. Other obviously American things to do:

Step Eight: Take a walk on the tree top walkway like the king of the trees, Tree-Meister.

Upon Mr. Walkway

Step Nine: Escape inevitable rain. Go inside one or more glass houses. Don’t miss Temperate House, the largest surviving Victorian glass house in the world. Don’t throw stones, don’t make stone throwing jokes, it’s so obviously not funny. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Step Ten: Go home, realize Kew Gardens kicked your ass and that you’d have to move in for a few weeks to see it all. Dream about Mr. Darcy.

Just imagine how I must look when *actually* sleeping

Optional Step 11: For those not recovering from a night out with a Dane. Take in a summer concert or movie.

Optional Step(s) 12: Go home. Wait three years. Steal pictures from brother’s facebook (thanks brother). Write a fascinating-ish blog post.

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