Why I’ll Never Get a Book Deal from This Blog

  1. I don’t post enough pictures
  2. It’s not only about one simple and “hilarious” idea: Bikes, Hipsters, White People, Awkward People
  3. I don’t mention hipsters or their habits enough
  4. None of my hipster friends run an underground publishing house, get on it fellas.
  5. The only famous person I know is… do I know any famous people?
  6. I’m horrible at self promotion
  7. I’m wearing a salmon polo.
  8. Because no one comments, ever…
  9. I just paid my cousin $2 to run an errand for me and I’m quite sure she just took my money and went and made out with her boyfriend. In short, I’m a sucker.
  10. I only write when feeling happy and carefree, kind of like the reverse of my high school diary.

Maybe an old picture of Me (with cleavage) Kissing Marcus will do the Trick.

 

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