A post from two years ago, when I was pregnant:
Surprise internet friends! There is something besides french fries taking up a significant amount of room in my abdomen. Sorry I didn’t tell you but you’ll see I have some good-ish reasons.
The top eleven reasons my Facebook friends have no idea that I’m pregnant:
- We decided not to make a “Facebook Announcement” of our successful breeding activities. (after writing this post we did end up doing a very grainy photo with some pun about a turkey as an “announcement”)
- There are no pictures of myself taken in the last 7-10 weeks that I can bare to look at.
- I dread all the well meaning (I think they are well meaning) comments like “get ready for your life to change” or “being a mom is the most important thing you’ll ever do”
- I’m really relishing in being the anti-baby pregnant person. (It reminds me of the good old days of being the anti-cheery cheerleader)
- I’m not ready to talk about nursery decorations or day-care options
- I’m afraid I’ll get automatically enrolled in the mommy club (I think enrollment comes with a free pair of mom jeans)
- I don’t want to get blocked by all of my childless cool friends
- I don’t want all of my friends who fell off the Earth when they had kids to suddenly feel like we should be besties again
- My internet friends are still recovering from all of the dog and cat photos I have posted
- I decided to tell people as I saw them or as it came up. Turns out I hardly interact with most of my Facebook friends (shocking, I know)
- Because I’ve found talking about a parasite living in my uterus is very awkward, especially when presented that way to people who would rather call it a miracle or something else hokey.